Tag Archives: potty training

Potty Training Continued

After I posted my article about taking it slow something remarkable happened. We took it fast. Completely on accident! I followed Lucille’s lead and she was ready to hit the ground running! But then… there was regression…and more progress… and more regression. It was a bumpy road, but only think we made it!

Days 1 & 2 were a blur and were what I spoke about in the above article.

Day 3 we moved a child’s potty into the living room and continued trying to go every 20-30 minutes, without a timer telling us we needed to go that very second. It was much more relaxing this way as Lennon was being entertained and Lucille could watch TV, talk to her brother, even play with little people while sitting on the potty. She’d sometimes sit there for quite awhile before she actually went, but she didn’t seem to mind being there. We had several accidents but also many successes!

Day 4 accidents continued. After one accident I was bringing her dirty clothes to the laundry and she put herself on the potty and actually peed. She was so happy when I walked back in the room. She was yelling “Mommy I did it! I did it!” Then she stood up and started dancing around the potty. Then after every accident I started putting her on the potty and found she usually stopped herself mid-accident and still had plenty for the potty.

Day 5: She didn’t want anything to do with the potty first thing in the morning, so I let her wear a diaper for a little bit. We tried to go up to every 45 minutes in the morning, had a couple small accidents. So, we decided to drop it back down to every 30-35 minutes and we were accident free noon until bedtime.

Day 6: Lucille woke up with a barely wet diaper. She was ready to pee right away! We started going potty upstairs again in a toilet seat that sits on our toilet. She went every 45 minutes in the morning, every hour in the afternoon. At quarter to 2, 15 minutes before I was going to set her on the potty, SHE ASKED TO GO! And peed as soon as I put her on the potty. This was one of the proudest moments of my life! We ventured outside of the house for a walk around the block. She didn’t have any accidents until evening time when she was exhausted!! (If you don’t count the tiny bit of pee from night time, she made it about 32 hours without an accident.)

Day 7: We enjoyed another walk around the block but were still too scared to take her too far away from home. At this point I realized every single accident she’s had in the past couple days had been when no adults were in the room. She will ask to go potty if an adult is nearby, but she doesn’t care enough to track one down. Obviously, I decided that I would not be leaving her side anymore.

Day 8: We spent all day at her grandparent’s house. No accidents there!! (Though had some in the morning when I was out of the room again… so much for never leaving her side, eh?)

Day 9: No accidents all day! Holy cow, we did this!!

Day 10: In the morning she tried to poop on the potty and it wouldn’t come. About 10 minutes later she pooped her pants. I think she honestly thought she was tooting. This happened again in the afternoon. However, she also went on two 45 minute car rides, and had a trip to the park where there was no bathroom, and no accidents resulting from this! I chalked it up to not being able to tell the difference between toots and poops yet.

Day 11: I woke up with an upset tummy and I’m quite certain Lucille did too. She had more accidents on Day 11 than any of the 5 previous days. I’m not going to lie, it’s frustrating to feel like you’re going backwards. But the girl just learned the potty basics, how is she supposed to keep her shit together (literally) when her stomach starts acting crazy. I saw this day as a reminder that we’ve come really far, but she’s still learning, and there will still be difficult days. Even on this day, we went and played with cousins for several hours, and even though she was running around playing, having a blast, she only had one accident in the time she was there. And no accidents after we left there, which is great considering how exhausted she was.

Since Day 11 she has had only 1 pee pee accident, but she continued pooping in her pants until Day 28. It was a long few weeks changing poopy underwear. And it was confusing because days 1-9 she would always poop on the potty, it was the pees she was having trouble controlling. But I knew it was a common problem. I tried to be understanding but consistent. “That’s okay, you just had an accident. next time if you tell Mommy you need to poopy, you can do it on the potty and it won’t be so messy!” I tried to look on the bright side instead of dwelling on the poop set back. Day 15, for example, was huge! That’s the day she started calling for me from the other room to tell me she had to go, aka the day I got my life back!

YAY!! No accidents for over a week!!

Lucille has worn underwear throughout almost all of this process. At night I still put her in a diaper, and in the first week of potty training I tried to put her in one if I thought she was about to take a nap. There are 2 reasons we switched to underwear right away. 1. I thought big girl undies would be exciting for her. and 2. I thought the feel of a wet diaper would bother enough to encourage her going on the toilet.

I think I’m going to continue putting a diaper on her at night for quite some time. 75% of mornings she wakes up totally dry… but I don’t care about trying to stop the accidents the other 25% of the time. She wakes up at night a lot, and I know when I wake in the night it makes me have to pee. Call me crazy, but when she wakes in the night, I want her back to sleep ASAP. (Perhaps because I have another little one waking up several times a night.) I currently don’t feel the need to wake her up further by stripping her clothes off and making her sit on a porcelain toilet seat. I’ll get her night trained by college though, don’t you worry! 😉

The last thing we need to work on is her fear of “falling in”. The children’s potties we’ve been using have been a great training tool… but her dependence on them makes her scared of regular sized toilets. We are going on an 8 day road trip in about a month so… the sooner she gets over this fear, the better. Otherwise I’ll be carrying around a princess potty our whole vacation.




Taking it Slow….

I’m taking a day off from Name of the Day for a little update on our lives. The truth is, there hasn’t been much to report. We’ve been working on sleeping through the night with Len and potty training with Lu, but if you’re reading this hoping for some quick advice, you might as well stop now. I have advice, but that advice is to be patient.

There are so many “3 day” or “1 week” methods for the issues I’m currently working on. But those methods aren’t for us. And I’m certainly not trying to insult these methods. If you can get your kid from diapers to underwear in 3 days, that’s excellent! But we can’t. Trying to rush things has made every member of our family miserable, and though the misery may be short lived… it seems unnecessary to me.

Lennon was moved to a toddler bed over a month ago. I breastfeed him to sleep and I usually have to breastfeed him back to sleep 3 times a night. This is progress. When we first started it took me an hour or longer to get him down at night. He’d wake up in 45 minutes, again it would take over an hour to get him back to sleep… repeat until morning. Now it takes me about 10 minutes to get him down, each time. Yes, there are exceptions. But usually, he goes down pretty well. So though I’m looking forward to him sleeping through the night, I’m grateful for how far we’ve come. I get alone time with my husband once Lennon is down for the night, something that didn’t happen when we were bed sharing. He’s getting milk 3 times throughout the night, which is a lot less then when he got milk all night long. He’s happy to be in his own bed and is in better spirits in the morning as a result of a better night’s sleep.

Could we have made this process quicker if we closed the door and let him cry? I’m sure. But I’m not sure he’d genuinely like his bed if we had done that. I like that his first few nights in his toddler bed he toddled down the hall to our room, because now the fact that he doesn’t do that anymore makes me feel accomplished. If we let him cry more, we might be done by now. But he would have definitely woken his sister, so perhaps I’d be complaining about how now we have to retrain her to sleep through the night. (For the record she does still wake about 50% of the time and needs to be snuggled back to sleep. I do not want to make this percentage go up.) My breasts would probably hurt if I went from feeding him all night to no nighttime feedings at all. And if it affected my day time supply, our misery would surely last 24 hours a day for a long time. It’d probably be over by now, yes, and my life would probably be easier in many ways. But, that’s not how we’re doing it. I’ve never been a pull the band aid off fast kind of girl. If you’re going to pull a band aid off me, do it slow, assure me you’re being as gentle as you can and that it’s almost done. Don’t just run up and rip the sucker off. Sure, the pain is over faster, but I just may consider you a jackass the rest of my life.

With the new year I decided to focus on one task at a time. I thought if I devoted all my hours to one task, didn’t let myself feel guilty about the others, they’d get done quicker. Lennon sleeping through the night in his own bed was task one, Lucille potty training is task 2. I decided this week that Lennon has made enough progress that I should move onto task 2… but for some reason I was not as willing to be patient this time.

Probably about a year ago Lucille seemed very ready to potty train. She’d ask questions about it and seemed genuinely fascinated. I helped her use her little ducky potty a few times and she was so happy about doing something new that I didn’t even need to reward her with candy or cookies… but I also had a 7 month old son and I didn’t focus on potty training like I should have. Putting her in a diaper was easier when I was having endless feeding sessions with Lennon. So that’s what I did. And since I didn’t encourage potty training consistently, she lost all interest. I think my guilt surrounding this led me to think we needed to get her potty trained the quickest way possible, to catch her up to where she should be. So I read people’s advice regarding 3 day potty training… and started loosely following it. (I say loosely because no way was I waking her up in the middle of the night to go pee. Or letting her run around commando since we have a lot of carpeting, we chose to use underpants.)

Day 1 started off so well. Poopy in the potty first thing in the morning. The next 2 days were followed by a lot of success and even more accidents. Every 15 to 20 minutes I made her try again. She would get so excited when she “did it!!” But she hated constantly trying. And Lennon hated it. I was ignoring him because I had to spend every second with Lucille. Seriously, our whole day revolved around the potty. Now, some people are probably reading this thinking how could she give up after 2 days? She was 1 day away! Well, I wasn’t. I wasn’t following the whole 3 day process so I fully expected my variation to take longer. We had a good week of this routine left, I’m certain. I didn’t give up on the methods all together, either. But I am relaxing how often she has to try. I’m letting her wear cloth diapers instead of underwear sometimes. For the sake of my sanity. For the sake of my neglected son. Mostly because by the end of the 2nd day, Lucille acted terrified that I was going to put her on the potty again. She was sick of it. It broke my heart. I don’t want to do it this way.

I’m sure someone will read this and think “well, she’s soft. She’s letting her kids walk all over her.” And that’s accurate. I am soft. And that’s why I want to let my kids do things at their pace. Because when people pressure me, I feel hurt, I feel that I’m not good enough. And I don’t want my kids to feel that way. So in this house, we’re going to continue to be sleep deprived and wonder where that urine smell is coming from a little while longer…. and probably I’m going to go back to Name of the Day posts a bit longer because I can’t gather my thoughts enough to write about parenting until I get a better night’s sleep. But a bullet point list of facts on  names, I can handle that!

Oh and one last piece of advice. Don’t compare your family to others. When I feel impatient with a lack of progress that my family is making, regarding the tasks mentioned above or regarding handfuls of other tasks,  its almost always because I’m comparing us to someone else. And that’s just crazy. Because we’re all different. I know kids younger than Lucille fully potty trained. Does that mean I’m doing something wrong? Or worse, is something wrong with her? No! I know baby’s 1/10th of Lennon’s age who sleep through the night. Does that mean I’m going to be breastfeeding him to sleep at 15? No! If you feel the need to rush for your own personal reasons, I certainly respect that. If it’s because others are commenting on your family’s need to change their ways, or you are pressuring yourself because Facebook friends have kids further ahead than your own, I advice you to step back and refocus. It doesn’t matter. Be happy in the journey, breathe and take it slow, one day at a time.



It’s Not Always Fun and Games

I am a big believer in putting into the universe the type of energy you want to get back. For this reason, I always try to dwell on the positive. In life it’s not always easy. On my social media though, it’s always sunshine and butterflies. I am so super grateful for my kids and I want the world to see how happy, sweet, smart and fun they are. I don’t want the whole world to see that sometimes I feel like I’m drowning and that I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in 3 years. But that is a very real side to this journey.

Lennon is 17 months. I really thought by this age he’d be done breastfeeding, or close to it. He’s not. He still wants breast milk to be his primary source of nutrition. Every time I think we’re making progress and he’s eating real food better, then he stops and it gets worse than before.

Hand in hand with this problem is he’s still up a ton every single night. I breastfeed him on average 5 or 6 times a night. This translates to me never getting more than an hour of sleep at a time. I know that he is probably waking up so often because he’s hungry, he barely eats real food. But I don’t know how to make him eat!!

Lucille showed an interest in potty training very early. But I was juggling a newborn at the time and kind of put it off. For several months now I’ve been trying to get her interested again, and she simply isn’t budging. Her cousin and best friend, Allison, who is 3.5 months her junior is almost 100% potty trained, but that doesn’t phase Lulu one bit. I thought maybe an exciting new potty might help, so she picked out a princess toilet seat that I can put on our toilet. She doesn’t want to go potty on it though. She wants to snuggle it. Fantastic. (Obviously,  now that it’s been placed on our real toliet I have not let any snuggling happen.)

Back to Lennon.. he’s definitely my problem child at the moment… he has become very violent. And I’m completely stumped by it. He hits me all the time. And punches. And kicks. And bites. And I have no idea where he gets this behavior from. He’s home with Lucille and me all day, so I can’t blame a brat at daycare. Lucille has never been violent. None of our play date friends are excessively violent. We don’t watch anything violent on television… it’s a mystery. But wherever it came from, I need to put a stop to it. And that has me even more stumped.

I don’t want to complain about my kids. I love them more than anything. And we’re going to make it through every challenge we face. But I’m writing down what our biggest battles are right now just to acknowledge that there are battles. And it’s totally normal to sometimes be overwhelmed and discouraged. And yes, some days, I let those feelings take over. I’m not proud of it. But that’s the reality of motherhood. I think I’d have trouble relating to a mother who didn’t feel this way from time to time.

Lennon eating! A miracle!




When Life Gets In The Way

For a few months I was proud of myself for consistently doing 2 posts a week. And as soon as I let it slide one week, I seemed to have just stopped! So, I’m admitting defeat the past month or so and we’re starting all over again.

With the nice weather the kids and I have been more active, going on lots of play dates, taking walks, etc. It’s the busy time of year for the radio station too. And I started selling perfectly posh products. I expect things will remain quite busy for several months but I want to make sure I continue to share our journey. Here are a few developments since I last wrote:

Lucille has a new favorite food. Cheese top. This is a term she coined meaning the cheese melted on top of other food. The other day she kept demanding cheese top and our dinner plan didn’t involve any melted cheese. Peter made her an open faced cheese quesadilla. She was so excited!! Hopefully we can keep this as an occasional treat.

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Lucille has been showing interest in potty training for a while. The other day we all spent about half an hour in the bathroom while she peed. Once we came back down stairs she kept screaming potty. Her toilet seat looks like a ducky and I figured she just wanted to play with it. So I brought it down and figured her sitting in it while she watches a show would be good practice and get her used to the seat. Well, my dog had to go potty as well. I took her out for 3 minutes… I came in and found Lucille peed in her potty again. Great, right? Not so much. Her and Lennon were splashing in it! This led to their first ever bath together. Lucille is very playful in the tub so it was a bit overwhelming for Lennon but they had fun!

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My beautiful and talented cousin Jenny owns whimsy roots photography and did our family picture Monday. I mentioned we’re working on potty training… well, when mommy and daddy weren’t watching Lucille took her diaper off. 10 minutes into our photo shoot Peter realized our daughter was going commando… it would have been a very embarrassing moment had the photographer not been my cousin! Also, she stole my pearls and I had to pick out a new necklace to wear… I had to admit my pearls looked adorable with her dress!

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Lennon is moving and talking and getting so big! He is the most stubborn little momma’s boy I’ve ever met. When he wants something in particular, nothing else will do. And usually that particular thing is mommy’s attention. Huge, exciting news regarding sleep progress though!! Last night, for the first time EVER he slept through the night in his crib!! I am really hoping this is a new trend! Wish us luck!

This is Lennon’s first spring and he loves it. He loves crawling in the grass, picking dandelions and pulling himself up on anything he can find. His mood typically improves as soon as I can get some sunshine on his face. Mommy’s mood does too.

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